Sorry for the delay and the broken promises. I guess I needed a longer break than I originally thought. It was time well spent. I’ve spent the last month or so training hard and focusing on bettering myself and my family.
In that time, I was preparing to run the Battle 6:11 Battle of Baton Rouge State Championships. It had been since March since I’d taken on an OCR (obstacle course race) but I knew I’d stepped up my training and I guess I just needed to prove something to myself.
When I finally realized that PCOS Awareness Month AND Battle Race were September, I knew I wanted to use this as an opportunity to create awareness for this illness that plagues me daily yet is still so taboo. So I did. I posted about statistics. I shared facts. I even had my dear husband make me a new shirt as part of my race gear! Shout out to Shawn with Lipari Specialties for my sweet new shirt.
As the days counted down, the fatigue and self doubt began to set in. Why do I do this? Who do I think I am!? I’m just an average Mom of 2 cute kids who tries her best to keep her life together and has chronic illness. There’s plenty of “me” out in the world.. so what makes me think that I’m anything special to run these courses?
I have really bad anxiety and I tend to be super tough on myself so I’ve learned to push through that train of thought and commit regardless of anxious thoughts..
And before I knew it, race day was here…
At the beginning of the race, I was still in my head and graciously received help on getting in the chute and a few of the earlier obstacles I should have been able to do solo.. but the mental block was dragging me down. But I slowly found a groove and started hopping straight into obstacles without hesitation.
I wish I could tell you some courageous story of great speed and heroic leaps and bounds.. but the truth is, I am just a Mom with chronic illness who gets on that course to better herself and to make her kids proud. I went out, ran.. well walked/jogged some terrain and tackled some obstacles. Some obstacles, I needed help and others I tackled solo and shocked myself.
BUT WHAT THIS RACE SHOWED ME is that I am brave. I am out in the world creating a platform for women with PCOS to break stigmas and create awareness. I am slowly (but surely) changing myself and creating a healthier future.
There are 2 main responses I get when I mention “I run races”.. The first one is that awkward sideways head tilt glance.. I know, it’s hard to believe someone with a larger body build and frame does these things. Well, it’s hard to believe if you aren’t in that world. More often that not, you will find people of all body ranges at an OCR. Why? Because they don’t require you to be a machine or goddess. These races take HEART. They take effort and determination. They take comradarie. *NEVER* let someone tell you that you cannot do something outside of the norm. Do what makes you happy. Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets you soul on fire.
The second response is usually “well, do you winm” or “could you even win?” Honestly, probably not. I’m a mediocre runner, and that’s being generous. But not every race has to be about what place you are. Would placing podium be amazing? ABSOLUTELY! Does it mean I shouldn’t run because I won’t podium? Absolutely not! If you want to run, RUN YOUR RACE. Run your own race. Do not define your ability just by podiums. Work on self improvement and victory is still yours.